Performance High

Acting really is a drug.
I mean, when we talk about a performance high we aren’t kidding, it is a high. And it isn’t just from performances. I just got out of a rehearsal that left me so jazzed, my brain and my body just tingling, I couldn’t stop talking the whole way home. To anyone: cast mates, strangers, myself. When we say that you don’t become and actor because you want to, you become one because you half to, that might just be the junkie in us all at the first step of a 12 step program, admitting we have a problem.
Hi. My name is Thomas. And I’m addicted too this feeling.
I’m addicted to the way it makes my toes feel in my feet, the way it makes my brain light up.
I’m addicted to the energy boost and the lightening of my mood.
The way I’m so jazzed I can’t stop moving, I may start dancing, I may start singing or jabbering or flying, I may do anything.
I can do anything.
My name is Thomas and I’m addicted to performing.
And this addiction is real. I have to get my fix. Be it from writing or singing or acting or just telling a joke at a party. I feel it. A deep need. It’s why I fall into such a deep depression when it is gone. Why that emptiness is so potent because when I have it I feel so full with life, with purpose, with being.
With this drug. Acting.
I guess there are addictions that are worse, but some that are healthier too. And while I wouldn’t necessarily say I have a problem… I have something.
An addiction.

I’m ready for my close up.